Tag / mindfulness

by Karen Twinem

And Justice for All

The first days of spring allow us to look back at “a long, cold, lonely winter,” as George Harrison wrote. Those days were the worst of the pandemic for me. They also showed cracks and weaknesses in the United States that I never suspected.

Even at its worst, the pandemic year has offered us opportunities. We’ve had a chance to clearly see systemic issues in our system of justice and in our American hearts.

As children, we turned to face the flag each school day to pledge allegiance to a nation that offered liberty and justice for all. We were taught that this meant standing up for our rights and the rights of others. Even during Jim Crow days, this is what we were taught.

One of the greatest opportunities coming out of the pandemic is to address systemic issues. It’s horrifying that people are attacking elderly Asian-Americans in the streets. It’s clear that African-Americans do not always have the same encounters with the police that whites do.

As we seek ways to improve our promise of justice, we start with ourselves. Let’s take time to meditate on our own actions. Do we treat every person as a unique individual, or do we put them in categories in our minds?

Practicing justice means real freedom of thought. It is as Merriam Webster’s dictionary says, “the quality of being just, impartial and fair.” It’s not about everyone being the same. It’s about access, rights and opportunity. It’s about freedom from being abused because someone who doesn’t know you doesn’t like your looks.

Today as we meet others, let’s listen to our inner voices. Are we detecting any snap judgments based on categories? We can’t change our patterns unless we know they are there.

by Karen Twinem

See the Space

This Christian mindfulness exercise helps you to see the space around you. Not just the furniture, the trees, the clutter … but the space surrounding those things.

Empty space is most of the actual space in the room you are in right now. Perhaps taking time to notice that will help you have the ability to sense the stillness in your inner space, as well as the presence of Lord within and without. Here’s the exercise:

  1. Begin by closing your eyes for a few minutes.
  2. Pray that you can begin to sense the presence of God in your environment.
  3. Open your eyes and look at an object in front of you.
  4. Notice the space around that object and focus on it.
  5. Shift to other objects and do the same thing, looking at the empty space in front of, behind, on top of and at the bottom of the object.
  6. Take a look at a full room or an outdoor space. Shift from observing the objects there to observing the space.
  7. Quiet your heart. Ask again for an infilling of God’s presence around you.
  8. Listen to your thoughts and look for the spaces between them.

young female friends having conversation sitting in armchairs in room
by Karen Twinem

Practice Compassionate Listening






When you practice compassionate listening, it’s important to remember that you listen with only one purpose, and that is to help the other person to suffer less. You give the other person a chance to say what is in his heart. Even if the other person says something hard, provocative or incorrect, you still listen with compassion. 
During the whole time of listening, you practice mindful breathing and remind yourself, “I am listening with one purpose: to relieve suffering by giving the person a chance to empty his heart. If I were to interrupt him or correct him, that would transform the session into a debate. In a few days, I may offer him some information to help him correct his perceptions, but not now.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, “The Mindfulness Survival Kit” 

			





			
				


	
			
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
What You Are Doing Right
	


	


	


	

		

Today’s Christian mindfulness practice is about taking a deep look at what we are doing right.  We all know we are not doing alone.  God’s grace and presence accompanies us as we do our work. 





Notice the good you are doing.  What roles are you playing in creating a force for good?  Raising children?  Being a loving partner? Serving a good cause and/or a good church? Bringing a godly perspective to a business? Think about all the places where you contribute. 





Be mindful about how those roles unfold today. Stay in the present moment and notice the things you do that support these goals.  Look for the good. 





Praise God for his grace and support.  Each time you find yourself doing a good work, no matter how small, praise God for his presence in that act. 





This Christian mindfulness practice can build optimism and awareness of God’s work in your life.  He is good, and you are doing good with Him.  Celebrate that today. 

			





			
				


	
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			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Three Vows for Ordinary People
	


	


	


	

		

Ready to get your hands dirty? Alexander Schmemann (1921-1983) had an idea for everyday folks who are drawn to Christian mindfulness and contemplative living. It’s in Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton: Lent and Holy Week.  Schmemann suggested a way of monasticism for laypeople living a typical American life in cul-de-sacs, apartments and offices. 





We would not not take vows of celibacy and poverty.  But he suggested that we could take these three vows:  





A rule of prayer:  Keeping a well-defined spiritual discipline of prayer and reflection maintains personal contact with God through the day.  We would maintain specific times of prayer and study that aligned with our work and family schedules. 





Obedience:  This vow fights not our tempers, but our individualism. This is a practical obedience to small things from traffic laws to chores.  We do what is legal and right even if we don’t feel like it. 





Acceptance:  Schmemann wrote that people want to do anything for God, except what God wants them to do. Instead of continually searching for a better place and a better people to serve, we would understand that God has put us here and now … in this cul-de-sac, this church, this job and this family.  Just as many monks take a vow of stability, meaning that they do not leave their monasteries for “better” monasteries, we look around where we are and we serve. 





What vows would you consider taking this Lent? 

			





			
				


	
			
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Jesus Is at Your House
	


	


	


	

		

The church is not a building. It is people.





Many of our churches have reminded us of this during the pandemic.  Lots of us have been going to church online … trying to stay holy (and awake) from the couch. And many have found the circle of people that we interact with daily drawing down to a literally precious few. 





My Lenten devotional “Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton” notes: “Every family of us is a little church. The tasks of service in front of our noses are God’s will for us; they are our part in building up the family of humankind.” 





The editors of this devotional, Jonathan Montaldo and Robert G. Toth, got me thinking with these ideas. They wrote: “Christ is most intimate to us when we recognize Christ in those we live most intimately every day, in those with whom every day we share the sacrament of time.”





I’ve been asking the Lord to help me see more of Christ in the homeless and the poor.  I’ve never asked to see more of him in my housemates and colleagues before.  Yet this presents so many opportunities as we cook the 5,000th dinner at home and stay on endless Zoom calls with colleagues.





Our intercessory prayers for these everyday people — family, friends, co-workers, customers — help “weave the web of the Church into deeper communion — a unity the early Church called koinonia — until the Lord comes,”  Montaldo and Toth write. 





We are billboards for God.  Or even handwritten notes for God stuck on the refrigerator with a magnet. Let us empty ourselves to allow the presence of God to permeate our homes. For now more than ever, our homes are churches. 

			





			
				


	
			
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Thomas Merton: Stay Empty
	


	


	


	

		

It is the Holy Ghost that will transform me, sanctify me ...
My own natural powers are helpless. I can do nothing about it. ...
If I wait upon the Holy Ghost with desire, this great gift Who is God will be given to me. And it is like a kind of awakening,
a sort of intimation of all that may happen the day after tomorrow -- 
what tremendous possibilities!
Meanwhile I will do everything I can to remain empty.
My only desire is to give myself completely to the action of this infinite love
Who is God, Who demands to transform me into Himself secretly, darkly,
in simplicity, in a way that has no drama about it and is infinitely
beyond everything spectacular and astonishing, 
so is its significance and its power.
We have got to let God do His Will in us.
His Spirit must work in us and not our own.
But since original sin, we always tend to work against Him when we work under our own direction. 

Thomas Merton, "Entering the Silence," pp. 48, 52 quoted in "Come into the Silence" with Thomas Merton, 30 Days with a Great Spiritual Teacher series

			





			
				


	
			
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Practice Loving-Kindness First Thing
	


	


	


	

		

Starting the day with a loving-kindness mindfulness exercise infuses peace into your schedule.  Especially when you focus on the day just ahead.  





Here’s how: 





  1. Quiet your mind and invite God’s presence.
  2. Think about yourself.  Say: May I be healthy. May I know God’s comfort. May I feel God’s love. May I live in God’s peace.
  3. Look at your schedule for the day. 
  4. One by one, bring up the people you will meet or talk with today.  
  5. For each person, repeat the phrases:  May they be healthy. May they know God’s comfort. May they feel God’s love. May they live in God’s peace.
  6. If you are meeting a particular group of people, such as a class or a team, you can repeat the phrases for that group.
  7. Do this for at least five minutes … more if you want to spend that time.





By bringing each person into loving-kindness for the day, especially those you dislike, you can better step out in love and peace. 

			





			
				


	
			yellow and green led light
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Don’t Be So Negative
	


	


	


	

		

Negativity bias, also called the negativity effect, is hard-wired in our brains.  But that doesn’t mean we have to live with it! What is negativity bias?  When things are of equal intensity, people tend to focus on the negative (thoughts, emotions, events etc.) more than neutral or positive. 





Scientists believe this brain attitude stems from times when flight-or-fight literally meant run before the animal eats you.  Having negative thoughts is not a pleasant mindset, nor is it something that the Lord wants for us.   Luckily, we can fight negativity bias deliberately. 





Neuropsychologist Rick Hansen has written extensively on this subject.  He says: Use your mind to change your brain to change your mind.  As Christians, we also can turn to God in this process.  Mindfully and actively looking for the good can change your brain through the process known as neuroplasticity.





Dr, Hansen teaches that when we focus on the good, sets of neurons fire together.  Neurons that fire together wire together, he says.  So the tendency to look for the positive and feel serenity gets embedded into the brain.  More information from Dr. Hansen are on his blog here and here.  Another detailed explanation of the negativity bias is here. 





This Christian mindfulness exercise will help: 





  • After morning prayer, ask the Lord to help you to notice the good and the beautiful today.
  • Keep a gratitude list for the today going on a sticky note or piece of paper in the kitchen or at your desk.  
  • Check in with your thoughts regularly during the day.  You can use an alarm on your phone if needed to help you stay mindful about what you are thinking. Are you seeing the negative?  Can you see a moment of joy to focus on instead?
  • Intentionally look for little things that bring you joy, connection and serenity.
  • Thank God for each moment of joy as it occurs. 





Other ways to counterbalance our proclivity towards negativity? Grant Brenner, MD, Adjunct Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Mt. Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center (New York), advises:





  • Be mindful and recognize when negative patterns begin. Do something each and every time—even something very small—to break the pattern. (A brief prayer would work well here.)
  • Notice when you talk to yourself in a negative way.  Replace “Well, that was stupid” with “I wish I hadn’t done that, but I will learn from it.”
  • Talk to your inner critic with compassion: “Are you ok? What’s wrong?  Why are you so angry? Are you feeling hurt?”  Dr. Brenner said this will seem strange at first, but interrupting yourself when you are being mean to yourself is actually following the Golden Rule. 





Other Christian mindfulness exercises that can help are the loving-kindness exercise and gratitude. 

			





			
				


	
			
	
	

				

			 by Karen Twinem		

		
		
Caring in the Present Tense
	


	


	


	

		

Mindfulness helped me learn that effective caring begins with paying attention to what’s happening now and letting the results emerge as byproducts of caring in the present tense. When caring veers into controlling, that’s when a dose of carefree ease can make all the difference. A smile of appreciation at whatever happens goes much further than a grimace of withering judgment and disappointment. 
Founding Editor Barry Boyce, Mindful magazine, Spring 2021 issue





Christian mindfulness is about living in the presence of God in the present moment. Barry Boyce, who has written many wise things as the founding editor of Mindful magazine, reminds us that mindfulness requires staying in the now.  As Christians, we add an additional piece of armor:  prayer. 





When we stay in the present and pray for God’s guidance, we can release all our guesses about what “should” happen. 





“Should” is a toxic word.  Thinking that events “shouldn’t be happening” keeps us stuck in frustration, anger and worry.  Among the myriad thoughts of Jesus, the phrase “this shouldn’t be” does not exist.  





Acceptance of what is and willingness to do the next right thing are the best steps toward peace of mind.  This happens in the present moment. 





Boyce also writes about caring becoming controlling. Or more accurately, attempts at controlling.  The only thing any of us can control is ourselves.  But boy, how we try to prove that wrong! In Christian mindfulness, our caring is attached to God’s will.  We cannot always understand how things are going to work.  If we do what we think God wants us to do, following the Scriptures and prayer, bringing our concerns to God with thanksgiving, He will keep us in His peace.