Tag / practice

by Karen Twinem

Feel God’s Love

Do you feel that God loves you? Really feel it?

I’ve struggled with that over the decades of my life. A way to make God’s love feel more real came in a booklet from Renovare. This Christian nonprofit provides resources to help people feel the fullness of life in God through spiritual practices.

The booklet, “Learning to Hear God: Two Listening Exercises” opens with wisdom from the nonprofit’s co-founder, Dallas Willard. You can obtain a PDF or a copy of the booklet by clicking here.

The first exercise, written by Trevor Hudson, guides us in creating a “beloved charter.” This is a statement composed of Scriptures about God’s love for us. In the exercise, Hudson has us slowly read Scriptures that remind us of how God loves us. You can use Hudson’s list or select your own, perhaps using a Bible promise book.

Some of the scriptures that Hudson included are:

  • 1 Samuel 16: 7
  • Psalm 139: 13-16
  • Matthew 6: 25-26
  • Luke 12: 6-7
  • Romans 5: 6-8
  • Romans 8: 28
  • Ephesians 2: 4-8
  • Titus 3: 4-7

Another list of verses is found here on biblestudy.com.

Look through the verses and see which ones speak to you. Then convert any general language to specific language that sounds like God speaking directly to you. Use the phrases in those verses to weave together a statement of how God feels about you.

This is mine: The Lord my God is with me, a mighty one who saves. He rejoices over me with gladness. He quiets me by his love. He exults over me with loud singing. He strengthens and helps me. Even the hairs of my head are all numbered.

I printed the statement and put it on my desk. So I see it when I sit down to work. It’s a good reminder that God loves each of us. Especially you. Especially me.

by Karen Twinem

Breathe With God

The primary Christian mindfulness practice is to breathe with God. An underlying part of many spiritual exercises, it also is a quick way to reconnect with God, restore inner peace and lower stress.

The four-part process is as simple as breathing. With intention and attention, of course.

  1. Turn your full attention to the exercise.
  2. Invite God into this exercise and ask Him to bless it.
  3. Breathe in and out slowly for the next five minutes, using your Jesus prayer, breath prayer or mantrum.
  4. As you finish, express gratitude to God for this moment.

Click here to learn more about selecting a Jesus prayer or mantrum.

This exercise can be done anywhere, at any time and around anyone. You can quickly breathe in and out without attracting attention to yourself. It brings you back into the present moment in the presence of God. That is the very definition of Christian mindfulness.

Christian woman praying thinking
by Karen Twinem

What Jesus Wants You to Think

Jesus is clear about what he wants you to think. Philippians 4:8 says:

Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable … if anything is excellent or praiseworthy … think about such things.

That, we all know, isn’t easy. So how do we control our thoughts when our emotions are running the show? Yet, God wants us to change our thinking, so it must be possible. As Paul writes in Romans 12:2 (NIV):

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The New Living translation puts it this way: Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Sanctification is never finished in our lifetimes. So we need to recognize that we cannot control our thoughts without God’s help. He alone will help us to replace the harsh critic in our brains with a loving observer.

It’s a great path to developing humility. We have to recognize that we do not have the ability to master our own minds. We are not as mentally strong nor as fabulous as we think we are. Using the discipline of detachment can stop us from being surprised at our own thoughts. We are not good enough, on our own, to ensure that our thoughts are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

As we offer the control of our thoughts over to the Holy Spirit, we can begin to watch our own minds. We can observe our thoughts as God does – with gentleness and compassion. With HIs help, we develop an early detection system to see when we are going astray. Just as detachment helps us to pause enough to decide how to react to a bad situation, it also lets us what the stream of thoughts flow and decide if they are going in the right direction.

Linda Kavelin Popov wrote a book called “The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves.” I used her ideas raising my kids. I have a quote from her that I wrote on an index card long again, so it’s probably from that book. It said:

“We can choose to engage in the Troubled Cs – control, criticism, contempt or contention – or act on our virtues of acceptance, appreciation and assertiveness.”

I like that. Acceptance and appreciation are paths to thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure and so on. And assertiveness gives us the courage to voice those good thoughts to people who might not want to hear them.

So let us bring Jesus’ eyes, ears and ideas to our thought life. We aren’t holy enough for it to go perfectly. But the Holy Spirit is there to help us.

by Karen Twinem

Ignore Your Inner Critic

Do you remember a time when you were told who you are? It’s nice to hear that you’re kind or smart. But sometimes you hear that you are clumsy, stupid, ungrateful or worthless.

Where do those names go? Yes, they are still in your head. And often they become part of the inner critic who doesn’t like much of what you do. Today’s Christian mindfulness exercise is helping us to recognize that your inner critic is talking and to learn how to stop listening to it.

It is all part of detachment, the art of experiencing feelings without allowing them to control you. Numbing out feelings is unhealthy. That’s not what I’m suggesting. Detachment steps in to allow us to make choices about our thoughts and actions. In Christian mindfulness, we allow ourselves to walk with Jesus and to do God’s will.

Learning to focus on the presence of God helps us to recognize the negative impact of our inner critic. We do what we should do, regardless of how we feel. This allows us to be loving to people we don’t like and to participate in situations where we have felt awkward in the past. We can do hard things with hard people.

The first step is to pray. Ask God to help you listen to your thoughts. Spend some time writing down what you hear. Are you getting criticism and ridicule? That’s the inner critic. Be aware of what the inner critic sounds like. Keep a list of what you hear, if that helps. These hurtful statements from the past have little to do with your identity in Christ.

Once we recognize our inner critic’s voice, we need to deliberately ignore it. When the words arise, pray before you take any action. Ask for an increase in God’s presence. And turn your thoughts towards praise and gratitude. Then do the next right thing.

Ignoring your inner critic can help you to detach from emotional reactions and walk in the ways of peace.

by Karen Twinem

Observe Suffering

Jan Chozen Bays, MD, suggests a practice that sounds grim at first glance. In her book, “How to Train a Wild Elephant and Other Adventures in Mindfulness,” the Zen teacher says:

As you go about your day, pay attention to the phenomenon of suffering. How do you detect it in yourself or others?

We shouldn’t just look for obvious suffering such as death or starving children. (Those things are good to meditate on with the intention of determining if we can do more to help.) Dr. Bays wants us to be mindful of the spectrum of suffering, from minor irritation to full-fledged grief.

Gaining awareness of the suffering in our hearts and the hearts of those around us is good. But it is most helpful if it unlocks compassion. As Robin Williams once said:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

Observing our own suffering also gives us motivation to change. How can we stop it? How can we think about it differently? I’ve always believed that your greatest suffering can become your most effective ministry. Could that be true for you?

Dr. Bays also suggests that we use the Loving Kindness exercise when we are suffering to lift up others who are in pain as well.

Are we brave enough to notice suffering today? Let’s see how it changes us.

man with online schedule filled with appointments
by Karen Twinem

Time for Divine Appointments?

As we enter Holy Week, it’s a good time to ask: Can you fit God into your schedule? This Christian mindfulness practice asks for reflection on how much margin you are leaving in your to-do list. Is there enough space for God to schedule divine appointments for you?

Take a look at your calendar for the last month. I’m seeing more activity as spring arrives and people are vaccinated. Reflect on these questions:

  • Have you taken on too many appointments and projects?
  • Do you feel that you have no choice in the matter … that you are assigned too much or “volun-told” to do things too often?
  • Do you go directly from one task to the next without stopping?
  • Do you care more about your kids’ activities than they do?
  • Are you double-booked at times?
  • Do you say “yes” to activities that seem “high-profile” or flattering, but drain you?

Answering “yes” to these questions mean that you need to work on adding margin to your life and perhaps learning the skill of saying “no” to requests, even when they are framed as orders. (When I got overwhelmed with work, I used to bring my boss a list of my deliverables and ask her to prioritize them. The boss who was TERRIBLE at prioritization responded, “I want you to do them all.” Looking closely at her work style … working 7 to 9, being triple-booked and forgetting to put in time to drive to meetings … caused me to look for a new job.)

After analyzing this, ask God to help you develop a criteria for accepting new requests or invitations. Then run every request through the criteria.

Everyone’s list will be different. But for ideas, here are some of the statements on my list:

  • Biblically sound and seems to be God’s will as far as prayer indicates.
  • Glorifies God.
  • Brings me closer to God.
  • Will be loving to my neighbor, advance the kingdom and/or be a force for good.
  • Is good for my family.
  • Fits with my life calling.
  • Can best be done by me. (Cannot be delegated.)
  • Should not be eliminated or delayed.

If the proposed activity will take big blocks of your time, consider going to your spouse for input.

Even if your schedule is relatively open, having this criteria is helpful. This idea is from “A Guide to Practicing God’s Presence” by Kenneth Boa and Jenny Abel. A free pdf of this book is available here.

by Karen Twinem

Forgive the Obnoxious

This Christian mindfulness exercise at the end of the workweek to clear your head and your heart. Working, either in a paid or unpaid role, puts most of us on the front line for dealing with people. Unfortunately, we meet our fair share of people who are rude, hypercritical, negative or toxic in any of a dozen other ways. Sometimes, the drip, drip, drip of this kind of behavior can get to us.

This exercise gives us the opportunity to bring those emotions to the Lord and to forgive. Here’s how:

  1. Shut your office door or find another place where you can have privacy for 10 minutes or so.
  2. Take some deep breaths.
  3. Allow your feelings … anger, disgust, sadness … to come into focus. Go before the Lord with these feelings. God already knows how you feel. So bring them to Him.
  4. Ask God to help you to forgive all the actions that have upset you.
  5. Quietly see the faces of each person who has troubled you this week. Ask God to help you see each one as wounded. Think about how their behavior has to do with their own issues, rather than with you.
  6. Ask God to show you how you may be helping that person to heal. Or just pray for their healing.
  7. Ponder whether you contributed to any of these problems. Do you need to apologize to someone? Do you need to change the way you relate to someone?
  8. Thank God for the opportunity to do your work. Ask Him to be with you for the rest of the day.

by Karen Twinem

Try This: Carry a Reminder

Christian mindfulness is a practice, not a perfect. One way to remind yourself to be mindful of the presence of Jesus is to literally have keepsakes displayed where we work most often or in our pockets.

The reminders can be simple and free, as Kenneth Boa and Jenny Abel remind us in their free pdf “A Guide to Practicing God’s Presence.”

Where are you most often during the day? In front of the computer? In your kitchen? Place a reminder there.

What coat or jacket are you starting to wear this fall? Put a reminder in the pocket.

Reminders can be small and easy to carry:

  • A stone to remind us that Jesus is the cornerstone of our lives.
  • A nail to remind us that Jesus died for us.
  • A feather to remind us of the presence of the Holy Spirit.

These same reminders can go in the space where we work. Or we can place larger items. I see a wooden cross from Jerusalem given to me 35 years ago when working in the kitchen. I’ve placed on my computer monitor a “pray continually” car visor clip.

Take a moment to pick out a reminder. We may need to change it seasonally if we get so used to it that we don’t notice them any more.

More information on how Christian mindfulness exercises are different is here.

by Karen Twinem

Gifts of the Pandemic

My Christian mindfulness practice for Labor Day includes thinking back on the summer past. We make a list of things that we didn’t get to do. Then we file it away to review the next Memorial Day, so we can make sure we get it on our next summer schedule. And we thank God for the fun we had.

This year, the list of what we missed …. let’s just say it would be way too long to file!!!

So instead, let’s make a list about the blessings of the pandemic summer of 2020. Gratitude is always a part of the Christian mindfulness journey. What can we be thankful for? Here’s some of my blessings:

  • The whole family is still healthy.
  • I got to take several interesting classes online for minimal money.
  • I went to conferences and events online that would have been too expensive to attend in normal times.
  • We didn’t have to go out in the heat to drive to meetings. It was just an air-conditioned walk to the den for Zoom.
  • I saved all my travel money, which I can use as a backup for even better vacations.
  • I spent even more time in contemplative prayer and spiritual reading, which brought me closer to the Lord.
  • We watched several acclaimed TV shows from the 90s and early 00s that we were once too busy to view.
  • My husband learned to bake! And he likes it.

And so on. Feel welcome to tell me about the things on your pandemic gift list.

by Karen Twinem

Update: What’s on Your Mind?

A frequent Christian mindfulness practice involves monitoring your thinking. Now and again, you stop to see what you are concentrating on. Or you realize that you are thinking about how the Sopranos ended. And you know that God prefers for you to think about something better.

I previously covered this in the post What to Think. Let’s do an update. Are we using Philippians 4:8 as a yardstick to measure our thought life. The verse says:

This week, let’s return to this verse when we are in a bad mood, when we want to complain and when we are waiting. These are trigger times for negative or unproductive thinking. Let me know how it’s going for you.