Using Loved Ones as Mindfulness Bells

Your mindfulness bell can talk to you. And ask for things. And even be difficult at times. How? Just decide to use a loved one … your spouse, your child or even a pet … as a mindfulness bell.

A mindfulness bell is a sound that reminds you to stop and turn your attention to the present moment … to the person in front of you. Like many people, I’ve had apps to schedule mindfulness bells during the day. 10 a.m., noon, 3 p.m., 6 p.m. … like that.

Having your bell be the sound of a selected person is different. You never know when they will want your attention. So, when they speak to you, you practice Christian mindfulness:

  • Stop
  • Take a breath
  • Ask for God’s presence and help
  • Focus all your attention on loving the person

This idea came from reading “The Mindful Family Guidebook: Reconnect With Spirit, Nature, and the People You Love.” Its author, Dr. Renda Dionne Madrigal, is a Turtle Mountain Chippewa, a clinical psychologist and a certified mindfulness teacher. She sees mindfulness from an indigenous American viewpoint, which has many differences from my own.

Her idea of using your child as a mindfulness bell appealed deeply to me. Dr. Madrigal calls this “an informal stopping-and-noticing practice.” Just as many of us stop and pay attention when our phone app (or even the telephone) rings, Dr. Madrigal suggests we stop and pay full attention when our child wants us.

My children are grown. I’ve decided to use the practice with my husband and a very shy cat.

Don’t have the experience of stopping for a mindfulness bell? Dr. Madrigal suggests that you try an app for a few weeks to get used to it. A good one is the Insight Timer app.

It’s easy to pretend that you don’t hear the 14th call of the day. And it’s easy to feel that your tasks are more important than a mindful response to someone else’s need. But doing this will exercise your attentiveness muscle while building your ability to live in the moment.


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